MiRRoR

“M-I-R-R-O-R”

              What she said since I was still young, I remember it quite well. I don’t know her motive of spelling the word ‘Mirror’ in front of me nearly every day, hoping that I could remember well what she said. The problem is, I feel quite annoyed every time she did that – my sister, Keeya. It makes me feel so dumb and stupid as if I didn’t actually know how to spell ‘Mirror’ in a correct spelling and ways. I would grunt every time she did that on every morning when we ran into each other during breakfast.

Every time I tried to avoid her, it’s always unsuccessful. I always ran into her each morning even though I woke up early that day and decided to go to school early. I always happened to meet her, which I felt quite dazed. Dazed by the situation of her perfect timing as if she put a CCTV in my room and sensed every minutes and seconds I went out of my room to the kitchen for breakfast. And every time I went out of my room, she would be exactly on the stairs waiting for me to go downstairs together. When it happens once or twice, I can accept that maybe it’s a coincidence. But when it happens always, I don’t think I can assume that as a coincidence anymore. It’s too weird to be true. My mind seems like couldn’t accept such nearly illogical coincidences.

I want to test her today. I want to make somehow an experiment to test the logical of this coincidence. Not that kind of science experiment. It’s just a plan, maybe? Whatever. I woke up very early in the morning before dawn. I decided to take my breakfast in 30 minutes’ time after taking my bath and perform my Subh’ Prayer. I want to test whether her presence is an unexplained coincidence or it’s just my feelings when I always thought that my own sister is a weird person and also a mysterious one. Mysterious because she isn’t like the other most normal sisters who always spend their time with their younger sisters, consulting them whenever they have problems and give advices on how to overcome problems, making fun of each other, chattered happily and many other things they did that I couldn’t possibly list it all here.

However, I’m still grateful that I have a sister who is mysterious rather than those who always violently disturbing and taunting their own younger sisters and lead them a miserable life. Despite that, I’m still longing for a normal one. My sister is quite mysterious because she rarely smile but she shows her affection towards me. Why did I say she showed her love towards me? Well, nearly every day, she taught me to spell the word ‘mirror’. ‘Can that be a strong evidence that she shows her love towards me?’ I chuckled. Well, I can say maybe that is one of the ways she showed me her love. There are other things like secretly putting presents in my room whenever it’s my birthday. She thought I didn’t see her entering my room. Of course I did. She entered when I was about to enter my room. So, I think she’s funny. Funny in a mysterious and abnormal way.

There’s one thing about her that I am really longing to know about. Actually, it’s not her that I want to know. It’s what’s inside her room that she’s being so secretive. She never let anyone to enter her private room even her biological sister, me myself. And it makes me feel curious and wondering about every day of what might be in her most private room. Every time I wanted to enter her room, she always appeared out of the blue, behind me and stared at me as if what I tried to do was ultimately wrong. I mean, I knew I was wrong but couldn’t she possibly understand that a child is always full of curiosity and I was only 6 at that time, when I was very curious of everything she did. I just want to know my sister better. I mean, is that wrong?  

She rarely speaks to me and our parents too. Well, actually she never speaks to me except spelling the word ‘mirror’, which I’m sick of it. To hear her voice is really hard even when she speaks with Mom and Dad. I can say that she actually didn’t speak to them but whispering very softly to them. I was like,

‘Am I really her sister?’

             

              I put on my best outfit because I have plans with my clique. We planned to watch movies at the nearby shopping mall and do other kind of interesting stuffs since we just finished our Mid-Year Examination at school today. I decided to wear my favourite pink Satin shawl to cover my head. I’m a Muslim and it’s compulsory for all Muslims to cover their aurah. Sometimes, there are some of my friends who are non-Muslims always asked this kind of question – “Aren’t you feel hot when you have to cover your whole body especially your head even when the weather is scorching hot?” I just smiled and said that it doesn’t matter if I feel hot. It’s just that, whenever I went out shopping or anywhere else, covering my head and aurah, I feel safe. Safe because most men doesn’t pay much attention towards us. Maybe there are some of them. But, most of them respect us. Maybe what I answered doesn’t enough to make them believe me. But, I’m just saying though.

              After several minutes of dressing up, as I planned earlier, I want to go down for breakfast very early not like the usual time I used to. Why? Just to see what will happen if I go down now. Will my sister be at the stairs waiting for me? If that happens, I swear I don’t want to ever try to talk to her anymore. Before this, I did try to talk to her but of course she said nothing. She just took a glimpse of me like she felt disturbed whenever I was near her. But I just wanted to try my luck. Who knows that she could possibly answer me one day? Then we will be able to be like other normal sisters. I was waiting so long for that to happen.

              I opened my bedroom door and peeped outside. It seems like no one’s there. I slowly tiptoed down the stairs and made my way towards the kitchen. I am quite happy that she didn’t show up at the stairs just now. I switch on the lamp and go to one of the cabinets to reach for my favourite chocolate jam to be eaten with bread. I sit down on the dining chair and reach for a small spoon. I smeared the bread with a spoonful of the chocolate jam. I folded the bread and shove it into my mouth to take a bite. While I was eating, I felt like I’m being watched. I turned back due to the strange intuitive I had and I was beyond shocked to see that my sister is standing exactly in front of me. I gawk and gape at the same time with her presence. She’s carrying a glass of iced Milo and put it in front of me with a small sticky note, said:

              ‘Drink it. I know you like it.’

I was like, WHAT??? Well, I like the drinks as it is my favourite. But, I didn’t expect that my sister, my really mysterious sister would make it for me. Now, I can say that she’s showing her affection towards me. But in a disturbing way. And I was really shocked that I couldn’t even say something. ‘She must be something’, I thought. Imagine that you are the earliest person going down to take your breakfast but then someone who you would really like to avoid from is the first person you meet in the morning. I was like, ‘Oh, Damn…’ I need to face her again today. I thought that I was safe enough because it’s really early and everyone in the house seems to be fast asleep. And the most important is, I thought I would never run into her again today. Now then I realise that I was wrong. She really is something.

She stares at me.

I stare at her.

Then, it’s like forever until she suddenly take out a pen and a small sticky note and began writing something on it. I crane my neck, trying to see what she is trying to write. She saw me and she covers the note with her hand. I draw a cynical smile. She just be quiet and continue writing. Actually, I’m confused of what she was trying to do, hiding a note that she’s going to give to me. I mean, what’s the point? I’m still going to read it when she hands it to me though. That’s why I said, she’s weird. Different from other humans I met. Peculiar one to be exact.

‘What’s with that face? Shocked?’ the note said. I read it and I’m quite surprised that she could guess what I’m feeling right now. Maybe my reaction was too obvious. I said to her,

“Kind of shocked. Why? And what makes you wake up so early in the morning? Not just that, you made a glass of Iced Milo for me. Did you put something in it?” I asked her. I then scrutinise the drinks to search for something peculiar that she might have put it into my drinks. Well, I never know what exactly she’s trying to do. I know it’s kind of useless to search for something that might have been dissolved in the drinks.

I saw she glared at me when I googled through the drinks she prepared. But what do I care? I need to save myself first from any possibilities. She quickly scribbled something on her note, a new one. I don’t know how much sticky notes she brought with her. All I want to know is, is she mute? She never speaks with me, never say something to me. She just writes it on a small piece of paper or her sticky notes that she brings everywhere. She rarely talk or maybe she never speaks to other people before.

She thumps hard on the table, placing the note in front of my eyes. I read it. It said,

‘Are you crazy? Why would I do that?’

I look at her and said, “You’re unexpected. How would I know if you have any revenge on me or what…Let me make things clear right now. It’s been ages since you talked to me. Actually, you never talk to me. I never know who my sister is. I never know a thing about you. When my friends asked me about you, I can just be quiet because I know nothing about you. Nothing at all. One thing I’ve been longing to ask you. Are you mute?”

I saw she’s speechless and maybe a little bit upset. Maybe I sounded too harsh and hurt her a little. Maybe I was too outspoken until I actually dare enough to gush out something like that. That’s what happened when you are too occupied with questions and high curiosity and you tend to ask something directly to the person without filtering the words that might have hurt the person you asked. I know, even though she’s wrong, I could just ask her nicely and courteously. But that’s just not me and I’ve been holding my horses for so long till I gushed it all out in that moment. I don’t have the patience to wait anymore.


                                                     To be continued....